Long Live the Reckless & the Brave

Oh to be reckless. I want to be a reckless man. I want to be perceived that way.

But I’m not reckless. I’m really not.

Some of my friends may believe me to be because that is the facade I’ve created, but I rarely do something unless I have it carefully calculated. I often execute it in such a way that you’d never know I’d planned it all out. I’ll tell you this, it may seem safe, but its not.

On other hand, despite my best laid plans, maybe I am reckless. Just because my actions are calculated…just because I know what I’m going to do…doesn’t mean its not reckless. Because I’ve still got the fear.

I’ve got that voice in the back of my head whispering that all of this will fail, that all of my toiling will be for naught. I love that voice. I love him doubting me. I relish that dread when I don’t know if I will succeed. I wouldn’t trade it for all the “Sure Things” in the world.

To me that’s the allure about being reckless; the doubt. It has nothing to be with physical or mental danger. What is reckless to one may not be reckless to another. My sophomore year of college I was starting microeconomics. On the first day of class the professor asked if anyone any anymore questions. He seemed like a good-natured fellow so I went ahead and asked “Has being a  ginger held you back in your professional career?” 

The class was shocked. The My friend's friend sitting two chairs to my right leaned over and said “Who the h*ll is this guy?" I was a little shocked too. Shocked at how little courage it took to ask the question. Maybe that was more my stupidity getting the best of me, but it didn’t feel reckless. I just though it would be funny!

“I thought it would be funny!” by the way has gotten me in more trouble than I would care to admit…but more on that later.  

I don’t live my life to be complacent. I fear the day were I shy away from a chance because I don’t know how it ends. I like not knowing how it ends. I love the fear that comes along with my recklessness. Because this, In the words of the only fictional character I identify with more than Jack Sparrow: